Welcome to the Staying Stable Series
Women entrepreneurs share their secrets for staying stable as they ride the emotional roller coaster of running a business.
In 2018 I attended the Inspire by GWEn Conference in Niagara Falls where I met both Andréa Jones, who wrote the third instalment in the Staying Sane series and Jennifer McCready. They were both speakers.
Jenn owns Lady Luck Photography Studio. In 2011, she started with boudoir photography with a desire to support women in building their self-confidence through portraits.
You’ll enjoy her “off-the-cuff” contribution, and will be surprised at her number one mental health tip (it starts at about 9:53) so take a peek here.
My name is Jennifer McCrady. I am 47 years old. I am very blessed to own a business called Lady Luck Photography Studio, which was started back in March of 2011. We just celebrated 10 years. I say “we” because, to me, my clients are part of my business, and my beautiful and wonderful makeup artists that work with me are part of my team as well.
I live in Ridgeway, Ontario, which is in Fort Erie, close to the Buffalo border. I have the most beautiful little town here. Being here has been a huge part of my mental health getting better.
My mental health story… where do we start?
I have not been diagnosed yet, but I am very confident that when I do finally go and get diagnosed, I will be diagnosed with PTSD.
From a young age, I was picked on constantly—told I was not enough by the kids in school because I was a little bit overweight. I think that is what started the whole first discoveries of what mental health is. I don’t remember it being a strong factor in my life until my mid-twenties, when I started experiencing depression.
I was working at a drugstore, and I had to take a few weeks off work to figure out what was going on with myself. I experienced depression and went off work for three weeks to take some personal time to figure out what the hell was going on with my brain.
In the meantime, the owner of the store told the entire staff in the pharmacy that Jen was off because she had depression. When I got back to work, I had multiple people—from the people who legitimately cared to the people who were just nosy—asking, “Are you okay? I heard you were off. Are you okay?” That was frustrating because that was not his thing to tell people. Today that would never fly. This was probably back in 2008 or 2009.
Then in 2012, I had an incident happen to me that I believe gave me PTSD. From that point on, the difference between what I was dealing with before and what I believe to be PTSD… I never knew what anxiety was, and after the incident, my anxiety was through the roof. It was awful.
How do we do these videos and include everything, right?
Fast-forward to today and why I wanted to do this. It took me a long time to do this video because of my mental health, so I’m very thankful that you’re patient with me.
Mental health is a jerk. It doesn’t always have to be.
Mental health matters to me because being happy matters to me—being able to be myself matters to me. When I’m struggling with my mental health, I’m not myself.
Good mental health to me means that you’re able to be yourself, that you’re able to breathe, that you’re able to function like a human being. A human being looks different for all of us, but to me it looks like the girl who’s productive, who’s kicking butt and taking names with her business, who’s not letting all the stuff you see on social media take her down, and who knows that she is enough.
That’s a big message. Since I was in school, I was always told I was never enough, so my message to my clients often is: “You’re enough.”
How do I define mental health for myself? It’s when I am myself. When I’m allowed to be me. The Jen you’re talking to right now is different from the Jen who, when I was first contacted about this, thought, “I’m not good enough for this. Why would they want to talk to me?” Now I’m like, “Yeah, of course they want to talk to me.” That’s the whole purpose of my business—to inspire others, to help people keep going.
It went from this pin-up girl empire, which was awesome and what I wanted to do to help women build their confidence, to this photography studio that focuses on everything—but the main focus is body positivity and mental health. Giving people an outlet to show who they are and celebrate who they are.
How do I care for my mental health today?
This is a whole different world for me, because I recently separated—well, two or three years ago—from my husband of 23 years. I have a wonderful, supportive boyfriend, but I’ve chosen to live on my own and get to know who I am.
How I care for my mental health today is taking care of myself. Learning to be my own best friend. I have connected to meditation and to learning about my spirit guides. I’ve learned that crystals are so helpful. Going for walks. Connecting. Learning how to be myself and love myself.
It all stems back to when I was a kid and was bullied and beaten up and always told I was never good enough.
Now, to take care of my mental health: I meditate (not as much as I should, but I tell everybody to do it). I go for walks. I live a positive life. I try not to speak negatively. I surround myself with people who are good for me and good for my soul and my energy. I unfollow accounts on Facebook and Instagram that make me feel awful.
And honestly—and I mean this even though it sounds like something I have to say because of my business—my number one mental health thing I do for myself is this business. Lady Luck. Helping others is my number one antidepressant.
I also have a little green parrot who I didn’t know I needed until he came into my life. He’s tiny. He’s eating his food or I’d bring him on camera.
Do what makes you happy, as long as you’re not hurting anybody else. That’s probably the number one thing I’d recommend. Spirituality and mindfulness are huge. We could talk about that for hours.
My main mental health tip
Connect—whether you believe in God, the universe, or whatever your belief is in something bigger. And if you don’t believe in anything bigger, then just connect with yourself. Meditation and spirituality have saved my life. Other than this business, spirituality has saved my life. Meditating, crystals, positivity, treating people how I want to be treated.
I also believe that you do good, you get good. Karma is real. Treat others with kindness. Treat yourself with kindness. Do good and you get good. Don’t just do good to get good, but there are perks all around with that one.
What I would share with entrepreneurs
Four or five years ago, I was asked to speak at Brock University at the women’s conference they have every year. It was a panel of myself and other women entrepreneurs. We talked about how we have mental health struggles, but look at us—we’re rocking it.
I also spoke at the GWEN conferences.
If you want to be an entrepreneur and you’re struggling with mental health, know that you can do it. There will be days when you don’t think you can—I still have them—but you can do it. If you’re doing a business you love, if you’re doing it for a good reason, if you’re helping others, hang in there. Put your blinders on.
In the photography industry, there are a ton of us out there now. When I first started, it wasn’t like this. Put your blinders on. Do your thing. Do what feels best for yourself.
Social factors
With Facebook and Instagram and all the other platforms, I honestly believe they give people a lot of FOMO—fear of missing out. People share all the great things happening to them, but not everyone shares the negative side. That’s something I work very hard on with Lady Luck: not just showing the happy days, but also when I’m struggling, because people want to know they’re not alone.
How I’ve addressed the problems that come with social media causing mental health struggles is: I put my phone down. It’s hard as a business owner, but I put my phone down and go do something. I go for a walk, I go to the beach, I connect with myself.
I can’t totally get off social media because of the business, but I turn off or unfollow people who make me feel bad. I mute posts when I have to. It’s nothing personal—I just have to do what’s best for me. Not everyone understands what that looks like.
Between spirituality, meditating, and crystals, my number one tip is to do good, and you get good. Be a good person. Treat people how you want to be treated. There is something up there watching us—whether it’s God or the universe or whatever your belief is. Something is up there watching us.
If you do good, you won’t believe the things that happen. So many amazing things happen every day. Friends of mine see it and say, “What?” And I say, “You can do it too.”
There is so much more I want to say.
When it comes to mental health: hang in there. Stay true to who you are. Put yourself first. Self-love is very important. Do what makes you happy. Make sure you spend time every day for yourself and with yourself.
Surround yourself with good people—people who love you, people who feel good. And if you don’t have many, quality over quantity.
If I had done this a few weeks ago, I was in bed, not moving. So it’s okay if you have those days.
What I tell people is: remember the last time you went through a heavy struggle. Remember the day you came out of it and how good it felt. So when you’re struggling again, think of that good day and remember that you’re going to get through it.
If you need to take medication, do it. Don’t feel bad about it. If you need therapy, do it. Take care of yourself. Do what makes you happy.
For me, it was getting a little bird who is in the other room talking to himself right now.
Take it from a girl who has manifested her beautiful huge wardrobe that we’re sitting in, for all my clients to play in. I have a beautiful studio on the other side of this wall. I have my health, my happiness, my wealthiness.
That’s one thing I do every day as well. I tell myself my affirmations: “I am happy, I am healthy, I am wealthy,” five million times a day if I have to.
Hang in there.
